Done with a quarter of school, and decent grades. Two more weeks of work before a break. Darling daughter has a boyfriend and is spending days away from home which makes it quiet here but it would be a lot nicer if she cleaned up her messes before she went out for the day. People tell me to make her do it. How, I ask them. “Take something away from her.” “Don’t let her leave home until she does it.” Hello… people, we are dealing with a young adult who physically can do whatever she pleases. She can leave if she wants to. I cannot physically force her to clean anything (not that physical force ever worked for that).
What can I take away? The only thing I have that she values is internet and I actually did take that to get her to comply. It took 6 months before she even did one thing. At the moment she needs internet for online classes so it’s not that easy to take away. I do limit it though, and she complained about not having time to do her work. She said it would be my fault when she flunked. I pointed out that she had the whole day to study and just played all day, so it was her own problem. I also pointed out she could go use the internet at the library, which according to her does not have the software she needs to run for her class.
Today: cleaned bird cage. Took out trash. Am taking it easy and must clean every pot in the house because she will use literally every one before she has to clean one to cook with. I told her when she went out that I was going to take them away, so tomorrow she’ll get violent and scream at me about what a horrible mother I am and that I am as guilty as she is. I’m not sure if she’s just stupid or will lie if she thinks it will help. I’ve cleaned every pot I’ve used. Came home from work on Wednesday to find the one I used and cleaned on Tuesday dirty. In her defense, though, part of her problem is that I won’t let her put them in the dishwasher anymore. They don’t fit and break off the little spacers that hold dishes up on the bottom rack. About half of them are gone and it’s hard to find a place to even put the plates in there now, so I told her we either had to do all the plates and bowls by hand, or all the pans by hand. I fully expect her to put pans in the dishwasher the moment I’m gone for the day though, and it really will be useless for more than 2 plates and some glasses.
I also discussed budget with her. That’s for another time, though. I’m still waiting for what I sad to sink in. We’ll see.